TDW #003: Attach to the Process & Detach From the Outcome

The Different Weekly: Attach to the Process & Detach From the Outcome

Are you trying to get clients “in bed” too soon?

Getting more clients is like building any other solid relationship. It takes time. Effort. Good communication. Some sacrifice. A ton of patience. 

And if you try to “close the deal” too soon? 

You’re gonna get rejected.

In the past 10 years I've helped CEOs, entrepreneurs, and business owners generate over $20M in revenue. I’ve used this process below with all of them. It’s the closest thing I’ve found to “foolproof”–and I want to share it with you today.

So let’s get started. Here are the five marketing steps anyone can use in their business to make more money.

Read time from here: 3.3 minutes

Step 1: Awareness

Before you can get more business, people have to know you exist. Kind of obvious. But amazingly easy to overlook. Said another way, If your ideal prospect doesn’t know you exist, how can they buy from you?

So the first task is to get noticed by the people who pay you the most the easiest.

When you’re single and ready to mingle, you put yourself in situations where it’s exponentially easier to find a mate. You go to parties. You go to church. You go on blind dates. You join an online dating platform.

If you’re serious about finding someone…you gotta get out there.

If your business wants new clients, you have to put yourself in situations where it is exponentially easier for them to find you. They need to “become aware” that you (and your solution) exist.

Put simply: nothing else happens without Awareness. It’s the first step for a reason!

Tips to increase Awareness:

  1. Create content and publish frequently
  2. Build an email list and email them weekly
  3. Widen your network through strategic (and genuine) outreach 

Relationship context: first meeting

Step 2: Discovery

Alright! So now your ideal prospect knows you exist. They’re aware you take up space on this planet…what’s next?

Next is Discovery. This is where someone likes what they see. They’re interested in taking the next step. But they’re nowhere near handing over their credit card.

Think of it this way: would you marry someone after going on just one date? Sure, it happens on reality TV. But this ain’t the normal way most relationships progress. And there’s a reason for that. It’s spelled T-R-U-S-T (and we’ll get to that later).

Do people sometimes jump in with both feet and buy without going through the rest of the steps? Yes. Absolutely. But it’s much more common (and beneficial) to guide them with intentionality through the rest of the process.

Questions your prospect is asking during Discovery:

  1. Who are the people behind this business?
  2. How can you help me?
  3. Do our values align?

Tips to help with Discovery:

  1. Inject your personality into your brand’s content
  2. Create a “power pitch” that succinctly communicates how you help people
  3. Pick a niche(s) and focus on them exclusively

Relationship context: first date

Step 3: Evaluate

If someone likes what they see in the Discovery stage, they’ll move to Evaluate.

Evaluate is exactly what it sounds like: your prospect is evaluating whether or not they want to continue the relationship. Most won’t, by the way. And that’s a good thing.

Think of it this way: you marry one person. Not 100. That means 99 percent of the relationships you’ve had in the past did not work out for one reason or another.

Business is the same way. You will not be the answer for most people. But you will be the answer for the right person. 

Most people like Coke. But some like Pepsi. Others like Dr. Pepper. And even fewer like RC Cola. So go be someone’s RC Cola.

Questions your prospect is asking during Evaluate:

  1. Can you deliver what you say you’ll deliver?
  2. Is your offer the right fit for me and my needs?
  3. What’s this going to look like in the future? 

Tips to help with Evaluate:

  1. Gather and showcase testimonials (I use Testimonial for this)
  2. Create a nurture sequence addressing common objections
  3. Add an FAQ to your website

Relationship context: dating

Step 4: Intent

This is where it gets fun.

The ‘intent’ in this stage is to buy. Purchase. Become a client. Whatever.

Keep in mind, no money has changed hands yet. You do not have a client. The prospect is still a prospect. As leads progress through the spectrum, the level of commitment increases. Your job is to nurture. Detach from the outcome. Attach to the process.

BUT (and this is a big ‘but’)–you are not finished yet.

Many eager entrepreneurs have claimed victory early and confused Intent with Action (that’s the next step btw). It sounds something like this:

“I got a new client!”

Did they pay you yet?

“No, but they said they were going to tomorrow!”

Then they’re still in the Intent stage and the job is not done.

You can ask someone to marry you. They may even agree and say ‘yes.’ But you’re not married until you say ‘I do’ and sign on the dotted line.

Questions your prospect is asking during Intent:

  1. Will I regret saying ‘yes’ to you and ‘no’ to everyone else?
  2. What’s your track record with people like me?
  3. Are you going to over-promise and under-deliver?

Tips to help with Intent:

  1. Have an email outlining your offer ready to go and send it immediately after you get off a sales call
  2. When following up, and you don’t get a response, use a different communication channel—so if you’ve been emailing, send a text follow up instead
  3. Ask this question on your sales call: “on a 10-scale, with 1 being ‘I’d rather watch paint dry’ and 10 being ‘I need to do this yesterday,’ where’s your head at?” Anything less than an 8 has no intent to buy

Relationship context: marriage proposal

Step 5: Action

I have performed over 100 wedding ceremonies in my life. I can assure you the ceremony itself is a formality. By the time the bride and groom make their way to the altar, all the important questions have (hopefully) been answered.

Similarly–and if you’ve accounted for each step of this spectrum–the ‘yes’ you’re looking for from your prospect is a mere formality.

Doesn’t mean it’s easy. It just means you’ve done the hard work and you’re ready to start a relationship.

Side note: Action is a function of sales, not marketing. Way too many businesses try to cram the entire marketing process into the Action step. Which is a whole lot like asking someone to marry you on the first date!

Questions your prospect is asking during Action:

  1. Did I make the right choice?
  2. Will this business be there for me when I need it the most?
  3. What’s possible now that wasn’t possible before I committed? 

Tips to help with Action:

  1. Create a ‘button up’ sequence for immediately after someone buys from you
  2. Remind your new client why they purchased from you
  3. Communicate step-by-step what’s going to happen next

Relationship context: saying “I do”


I hope this helps you better understand the intricacies of the marketing process. If you’re overwhelmed and not sure where to start, pick the step that resonated with you most. Optimize it. Make it rock-solid. Then move onto the next step.

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